As a first post for this blog I wanted to thank the men in my life who helped me become who I am. In doing so I hope you will show some gratitude to men who are or were father figures in your life. It’s important that this is done, as many men never receive a thank you for passing their wisdom down to others. Also there seems to be more hatred towards men during this day when we should recognize those men who have given value to others.
Being a good father is tough. Plenty of fathers work many long, hard hours and come home to a family that is asking more of them. Some may not be at home as often as they would like and end up missing out on the development of their children. Even when that happens, we should still show appreciation for those men that provided for us. They have plenty of value. Here are some from my life:
My dad has worked in the gas drilling industry for a multitude of years in the field as a supervisor. He’s been doing this type of work after being over 50 years old and has worked in the deadly winters of the great plains where it gets to -50 degrees Fahrenheit or worse, the heat of the Southwest region of the US, and in third world countries that are dangerous such as Guatemala and Honduras. He wasn’t around as much as I would have liked, but that is a burden that some men must take on to provide for their family. I still appreciate him providing for us and teaching me how to drive a tractor, bail hay, and understand hard work as well as the value of a dollar. He never once complained and always said “I just wanted to give my children more than what I had.” You certainly did that. Thank you!
Even though my father was gone a lot I still had other masculine role models to look to. Luckily I had an uncle who lived nearby and pursued some sports in school that gave me access to male coaches. I didn’t have a male school teacher until 5th grade, which is understandable since most teachers are female. I think around 70% is the amount.
My uncle is married, but he and my aunt never had kids. So the children of my parents were like children to them. It takes a village to raise a child and we were lucky to basically have two sets of parents. This uncle taught me about baseball and how to swing a golf club. When my dad was gone to work and provide for us, my uncle was in attendance at my school events. Most memorably though when I was in boy scouts at an early age he helped me in making a few wooden race cars. It’s a competition in boy scouts and they give awards to the fastest ones and most stylish. One year, thanks to his help in carpentry and painting, we won both. I believe the trophy and cars are still somewhere at my parent’s place, but I think he should have them. That was a bonding experience that I needed.
Good coaches in school were hard to come by and I didn’t have any until I got into junior high and continued playing football. Luckily one of the coaches who was younger did a phenomenal job of developing rapport while maintaining respect of his role with his players. He was a believer in lifting weights and got all of us on lifting programs. Becoming involved in such things was a huge boost of confidence as my strength increased, and it also gave individuals within the team a way to compete and motivate one another. I kept it up and when I was involved in power-lifting, I went to the state meet three out of four years of high school. Competing in this manner isn’t something I still do, but it taught me the appreciation of strength and the importance of my body’s health. This man is still a friend of all the guys I graduated with who were on the team. He is now a father himself to a young girl. He was a good mix between the older brother and father figure that many of us needed at that time.
Another coach I had in high school who is a Vietnam veteran instilled the living fear in our team. He could be ruthless as hell and punished players for bad behavior. But these are things that are needed when discipline is non-existent, and young boys as well as young men often lack in that capacity. Although he could scream at you until he was red in the face (I once saw him scream so harshly at a senior player during a practice that the player cried) he also had the ability to let some players know he saw something positive in them. He once told me “You have heart and great technique. If you were just a couple of inches taller and weighed about 25 more pounds, I could get you a scholarship.” I didn’t see this as him making fun of my size, but for a reason for me to play with more heart and tenacity to make up for those limitations. I was in no way the best player on the team, nor a prospect for any school, but this coach did teach me valuable aspects of being a man and pushing myself to be the best I can be. I remember him saying “I’ve coached some men who played in college and even in the NFL. Less than 1% of high school players get to that level. Very few if any of you will go on to play after high school. However I can teach all of you to be productive men and citizens.” That’s something every coach should strive to do for men.
There are so many more men I can mention. Perhaps those will appear in future posts. For now I hope that whoever reads this can gain perspective on men in their own life who have helped them achieve more and strive for their best. What men have done that for/to you? Feel free to post them in the comments. And to all the fathers, uncles, teachers, mentors, older brothers who of course are men, I wish you an amazing Father’s Day!
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